Pain
by LoveWithoutLimits
Summary: Pain, without love." Songfic challenge with DementedViper. TDG - Pain. SLASH AxM


**Disclaimer: I own nothing (sniff) **

AN: Next in the series of songfics me and DementedViper are writing from putting our playlists on random, (check her version out as well). This is the TDG - Pain, from her playlist this time.

**Warnings: Slash, slightly dark maybe. **

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
**

Banquets are all the same, filled with the same talk, food and wine as any other. Arthur hates them with a passion that makes his blood boil, his body hum for something more exciting than the drone of a hall full of nobleman. It is never more than an hour before Merlin finds his wrists grabbed and his body pulled away from the hall. Arthur's room's are always too far, they disappear behind a tapestry as familiar to them as any chamber in the castle. Hands bruise as clothes are pulled and torn from their bodies, fingernails scoring across pale and tanned skin alike. Mouths attach to necks as teeth scrape and bite, drawing blood with every other swipe, the tang of it filling their mouths as they kiss, each one brutal. They cry out with pain and pleasure alike, the thrill of being caught always there.

**  
You're sick of feeling numb  
You're not the only one  
I'll take you by the hand  
And I'll show you a world that you can understand**

Arthur's life has been filled with nothing but rules and laws since the day he was born. Protocol and duty were fed to him like a sick meal until it was all that preoccupied his mind. Arthur spends his days the same day in day out, he doesn't feel anything anymore as he pours over numbers and letters, training the knights and playing the dutiful son. That is until Merlin comes along, with his bright smile and cheeky attitude and Arthur feels something in him stir. He suddenly feels like he has a reason to think something different and be something more.

When Merlin kisses him it feels like fire and his hands bring warmth. When Merlin lays with him its like the numbness Arthur feels everyday disappears, replaced with a burning hunger that he can't hold in. Arthur is sick of feeling nothing, he craves Merlin every second of every day and the way he can fill the void he never knew he had.

**  
This life is filled with hurt  
When happiness doesn't work  
Trust me and take my hand  
When the lights go out you will understand  
**

They have both learnt the hard way that life kicks you when you are down, takes away the things that you want and leaves you hurt and broken with cruel events that you cant control. Arthur does not remember his mother, but he remembers missing something that he knows she was meant to give. He remembers the pain that his father would carry around with him and he remembers that pain being taken out on him. Arthur knows that life was cruel to take away from him the one thing that every child is meant to know. He envies Merlin for having that.

It is odd that Merlin envies Arthur also, for Merlin never knew his Father. He wishes sometimes that it was death that took his Father from him, lest so he can blame things out of his control., but Merlin knows it was not. His Father left. Left and did not come back by his own choice. Merlin has had to learn the hard way that sometimes no matter how much you want it to not be true, people are cruel and cold, and you can not rely on them for anything.

They know you only have what you have while it is there. Skin on skin, mouth against mouth, this is real and this is now. When the day is gone and they lay in bed, bodies pressed together and mouths demanding against each other, they think they understand.

**Anger and agony  
Are better than misery  
Trust me I've got a plan  
When the lights go off you will understand  
**

They don't do anything by half, they come to expect it now from each other. The power and the harshness of the way they touch each other. They would be disappointed if they didn't wake up with a bruise or a cut across their skin. They find a release I each other that they have never had before. When people around them fall and the anger takes hold, they have this. Neither complains as the other takes them, forceful and rough, sometimes without even waiting for a word of permission. When the world around them falls they don't even blink, despair and pain as familiar to them as each others skin.

**Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**


End file.
